An Awake Heart

An awake heart is like a sky that pours light.
~ Hafiz ❤️☀️🌟
Throwback/TBT… This image was inspired by my travels to Jerusalem. Image by Wandering Bohemian Photography. Hair & Make-Up by Mariluz West @wanderingbohemian @mariluzwestmua #tbt #jerusaleminspired #middleeasterninspired
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Lead to humility

There have been days I drive far or off road – just to find a silent peaceful space to pray and reflect. 💗🧿✝️🌟 If pain doesn’t lead to humility, you have wasted your suffering. ~ Katerina Stoykova Klemer #mitsubishioutlander #offloading #prayer #mindfulness #reflect

It isn’t in my blood

Walking/hiking/running relieves stress for me. It gets me out of my head. After recently spending time in Italy – walking just about everywhere there (2-5 mi a day) – it made me feel so much better. In spite of healing from back and concussion issues I stay determined to work out – it is changing my life for the better. I’m also inspired by my friend Lucy @ripa10runner (VBFF since Waldorf school grade 5!! 🍁who made the Boston Marathon again!!Congrats Lucy!!) … I’m dedicated to fitness for myself and I’m staying the course. “Sometimes I feel like giving up. But I just can’t. It isn’t in my blood” ~ Shawn Mendes

#fitness #fitnessmotivation #nevergiveup #bose #baleaf #baleafsports #victoriasecretsport #myabeo #abeoshoes #randolphengineering #domesticviolencesurvivor #hope #determination #kindness

My story isn’t over

A birthday gift from my cherished friend Nichole Louise who knows my heart, my pain, my journey, and my hope. I love you girl. As my Dad said “Never Give Up” … I will try always to BELIEVE ❤️ #survivor #ptsdawareness #metoo #timesup #domesticviolenceawareness #dvcccpa

Batuka

This video has deeply touched my soul. The coming together of beautiful, strong, soulful women – the hope that even our deepest inner wounds can heal. Reclaiming ourselves, our cultures, our voices, WHO WE ARE! Like those ships fading into the water – in time the pain may fade with them.

“It’s a new day (it’s a new day)
So don’t judge a human (so don’t judge a human)
‘Til you’re in their shoes (’til you’re in their shoes)
If you have a dream (if you have a dream)
Then you can’t stop us (then you can’t stop us) Sing, “Hallelujah” (sing, “Hallelujah”)
Say, “Amen” (say, “Amen”)” ~ Madonna 💗 #madonna #batuka

I lift my lamp beside the golden door

Riding my horse Shane in honor of our veterans 🇺🇸 Image by Stylish Images (Summer 2007) To my American Family and Friends: Happy Independence Day!! Those of you who know me well understand my passion for International travel – and you also know that I love to come home ❤️ I take heart in these words of hope: “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed, to me: I lift my lamp beside the golden door.” ~ Emma Lazarus

#july4th #emmalazarus #americanflag #quarterhorse #freedom #liberty #stylishimagesphotography #honoringveterans #independenceday #ladyliberty #aqha #quaterhorse #foundationquarterhorse #greyhorse #pennsylvania

I find solace

I find solace in my Christian Faith. My home is in the timeless beauty, celebrated diversity, and LOVE of the Episcopal church. When my heart is hurting beyond what I can bear I feel Christ’s love and I’m reminded that all of the illusions of this world fade. We are all stardust in the end. Christ’s love outshines any darkness. Christ’s promise of peace is more powerful than anything on earth… This song gives me wings to soar above the pain.

“Taking all I have and now I’m laying it at Your feet. You have every failure God, and You’ll have every victory.
You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
You say I am held when I am falling short
When I don’t belong, oh You say I am Yours
And I believe, oh I believe
What You say of me
I believe” ~Lauren Daigle @lauren_daigle

Image by @twinsfisch #fischertwinsphotography

Episcopal ❤️ @theepiscopalchurch @tattooedepiscopalian #episcopal #episcopalian #episcopalchurch #celebratediversity #healing #peacebewithyou #walkwithjesus

Better Man

I know I owe no one explanations. I want to become my best self. I’m being brutally honest with myself as I reflect on my life – especially about why my two serious committed relationships have been with two abusive men. Why have I been a moth to the flame? I know I did not deserve the more distant past physical or mental abuse. I also did absolutely nothing to merit the more recent mental and emotional abuse. Both men devalued me and the more recent man literally tried to control & possess my soul… Going forward I will be extremely vigilant, patient, and if a man makes me feel I have to hide truths from my family & friends – those red flags will never again be ignored. My love of art, travel, music, dance, and my acceptance & celebration of diversity is who I am. Like it or not this is me!! And no man is going to tell me I cannot wear high heels!! There is a song helping me heal from ending my engagement – it is “Better Man” by Little Big Town…

“I know I’m probably better off all alone

Than needing a man who could change his mind at any given minute

And it’s always on your terms

I’m hanging on every careless word

Hoping it might turn sweet again

Like it was in the beginning

BUT YOUR JEALOUSY, I CAN HEAR IT NOW

You’re talking down to me like I’ll always be around

You push my love away like it’s some kind of loaded gun

You never thought I’d run”

Image by Max Nguyen #dvcccpa #metoo #timesup #abusesurvivor #abusenomore #survivor

Calling Off An Engagement

Calling off an Engagement… When someone cannot accept you, celebrate you, and love you for who you are it is time to walk away. I have survived domestic violence and though I long to marry again I would rather be alone than give up my beloved friends, passion for travel, appreciation & love of diversity, Pinup Art, high heel shoes, enjoyment of art, or being a fan of Madonna, Lady Gaga, and Dita Von Teese. You should not live in fear of iPhone notifications or have to answer for every person you are connected with on a social media account. If your partner cannot trust you it is not going to work. Ending an engagement is painful however I have walked this path before and I know from experience not to marry a man who cannot cherish me or allow me to cherish him. And so I returned my dream ring, wept, and am taking time to heal and recover. Somehow in spite of past abuse, betrayal, and my uncanny ability to attract controlling men — I’m keeping hope for finding true love and remarrying in the future. I’m my father’s daughter and I will not change who I am to fit anyone’s mold. I’m proud of my inner strength 🦋

Image by Yeshi Kangrang #dvcccpa #metoo #timesup #abusesurvivor #abusenomore #survivor